Movie Review: Suicide Squad
Disclaimer: as with all reviews on Theaterverse, there may be spoilers. If you haven’t seen it yet, you might want to come back after you have. This particular review also has a little naughty language as well. You have been warned!
So, another late review. Sorry, but I don’t get pre-release screenings of movies to get these together. I have to watch them the same way other mere mortals do… if you happen to be a hollywood insider and want to change that, I am more than happy to entertain offers. Although after reading this review, I am sure no one that had anything to do with Suicide Squad would ever want me to review another one of their properties again.
To sum up this hotly anticipated summer blockbuster, no matter how much you try to polish this turd it just won’t shine! There was SO MUCH POTENTIAL here and David Ayer and company managed to piss it all away by making one of the most disappointing, plodding, overblown, and simply boring movies I have had the displeasure to willingly subject myself to in a long time. I mean, I have seen bad movies, and I have even enjoyed bad movies. Despite their flaws I enjoyed watching both of Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movies, but this manages to make Batman vs. Superman (let’s not fight because our moms have the same name) look like a cinematic masterpiece.
Where do I start? They took a renowned actor like Jared Leto, gave him the oppertunity to portray one of the most popular and chilling villains in comic book history and made him into a generic mob boss with a penchant for pretty makeup and hair dye. I won’t even get into the ridiculous tattoos and grillz (but seriously! What the hell were they thinking?) but if you are going to reinvent a beloved character it might be best to wait until the previous and highly regarded version has had some time to fade from the public consciousness a bit. Leto manages to dominate what little screen time he is given despite the GLARING faults in the characterization he was given. I feel like if Leto were to be given an actual competent script to work with he could have easily made an excellent Clown Prince of Crime. He deserves a do-over to right the wrongs of this turkey.
Another major problem here lies with the antagonist. We all know a great villain is the hallmark of a good comic book movie, instead we got the evil wonder twins who want to take over the world because fuck you that’s why. To aid them in their mission to, I don’t know… do something I guess, they have a group of henchmen who have piles of black Crunchberries for heads for some reason. What you might not have noticed on the first viewing are the other two villains of the story that were vanquished within the first couple minutes of screen time. These evil foes are called “Plot” and “Storyline.” Their deaths were swift and violent and weighed heavily on the rest of the film.
That isn’t to say that this movie is ALL bad. I mean the soundtrack was kind of alright I suppose. In all seriousness, Margot Robbie and Will Smith manage to deliver the breakout performances in Suicide Squad, although I am not sure if it is really due to their abilities or the fact that theirs are the only characters that manage to get even a modicum of development. Any port in a storm I guess. Robbie manages to truly embody the damaged and disturbed yet oddly saccharine nature of Joker’s main squeeze, Harley Quinn. She truly seems to delight in playing the demented cheerleader and it translates on screen. When Harley is having fun the audience has fun right along with her, and when she is saddened by the loss of her Puddin’ you can’t help but feel a little bad for the big ol’ ball of loony.
Will Smith manages to make a ruthless and cold-blooded murderer like Deadshot completely likeable. No doubt it is in no small part a result of his ability to present himself as a doting father just trying to earn a living in this crazy world… by killing people for money. You know what, I’m not sure where I was going with this. It would be a better use of your money to light a $10 bill on fire and put it out on your eye than spend it on a ticket for this movie. If you just have to see it, I’m sure it’ll be shown on cable soon enough but if you just can’t wait, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
What did you think about Suicide Squad?